In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?
In numerous communities’ senior people are frequently being neglected by families
due to
their busy scheduled
and having no work-life balance. As a result, aged family Replace the word
schedules
members
are compelled to choose to live in retirement homes. To begin
, over the years , technology has advanced in various domains from farming to spaceships. Humans have been yielding to it, and the consequence is a huge intervention Change preposition
in
to
human connections especially with older family Change preposition
in
members
in their 80s, 90s and 70s. Seniors of the family always thrive
for quality time with their family Verb problem
strive
members
, moreover
to support them in their old age is the responsibility that ought to be taken by each one of them. For instance, helping in
their daily errands like financial bills, groceries, doctor appointments and any other cooking assistance will make them happy and content. Change preposition
with
Furthermore
, interacting and spending time with aged people would change the
perspective Change the word
their
of
life, Change preposition
on
Correct word choice
and gives
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
immense
positive energy and enthusiasm. They fill the gaps between generations giving life to fading traditions, rituals, and authentic values. Correct pronoun usage
them immense
For example
, in India grandparents are treated like the bridge connecting generations due to
the fact of the traditions and values they share with their posterity. In the same way
there is ample to learn from the older like the bona fide food recipes that have been forgotten by today's world. Add a comma
way,
Besides
all these
they have seen decades of life and worked strenuously for the family upbringing and more vital are the sacrifices they have made for the family. In conclusion, I would totally agree that it's extremely unseemly to allow aged family Add a comma
these,
members
to live in senior homes. It is that age to treat them like children, in other
words
give them a tiny quality time, attention, love and care, Add the comma(s)
words,
that is
all they expect.Submitted by panusha984 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion