IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest
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Nevertheles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,being a human
rest
Use synonyms
 is very important to lead a
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 life and
c
Add an article
a
show examples
ool
mind
Use synonyms
. The segment of society believes that leisure
time
Use synonyms
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 us to boost
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
m
Add an article
the
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ind and increase
I
Add an article
the
show examples
Q level. Whilst other opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
mind
Use synonyms
 relaxation is necessary for
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 life. I agree
Add the preposition
on
to
with
show examples
both
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
show examples
 and describe in
u
Add an article
the
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pcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
first
Linking Words
 and for
v
Add an article
the
a
show examples
arious reason for using free
time
Use synonyms
 in activities.some individuals do different kinds of activities in
rest
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.To exemplify, sports
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, playing games ,
quizz
Correct your spelling
quiz
quizzes
 ,reading
n
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ovel and other interesting books. The leisure
time
Use synonyms
 is extra helpful
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
 your
mind
Use synonyms
 .
In addition
Linking Words
, resting
time
Use synonyms
 is
b
Add the particle
to
show examples
rush up your knowledge and upgrade your IQ level. The person's who's doing a setting jobs all the
time
Use synonyms
 they need to relax their body by doing gymnastics and power yoga.the reading books, novels, are
also
Linking Words
 helpful for
improve
Change the form of the verb
improving
show examples
 your knowledge.solving
quizz
Correct your spelling
quiz
 is too helpful for boosting your brain. On the flip side , a few individuals want to be
rest
Use synonyms
 on free
time
Use synonyms
 .
moreover
Linking Words
 mankind's are free from relaxation
time
Use synonyms
 because he
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 know what they can do.
People
Use synonyms
 desire to spend
rest
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 reduce
s
Add an article
the
show examples
tress of work in
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 life. In free
time
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 like to watch movies to relax their
mind
Use synonyms
. In busy schedule
Add a comma
,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do
rest
Use synonyms
 for rejuvenating their brain and body.In break
Add a comma
,
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 person feel active and energetic after completion
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
their daily routine work. In conclusion, a few
people
Use synonyms
 want
Add the particle
to
show examples
relax after their day of work. These individuals may prefer to relax by watching
a movies
Correct the article-noun agreement
movies
a movie
show examples
. On the other side
Add a comma
,
show examples
activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 boost your knowledge and mental strength.
Submitted by naresh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
What to do next:
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