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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today some people believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #force #discipline #children
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There are conflicting views among people whether to punish
children
Use synonyms
 corporally or not.
Although
Linking Words
 some parents use physical force to correct offspring, I strongly disagree with physical punishments as these may spoil their characters and result in disobediences in older ages. On the one hand, some parts of society believe in bodily penalties for
children
Use synonyms
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 have done some faulty activities.
This
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 is because of repetitions wrong treatments or actions by
children
Use synonyms
 which lead to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 punished by their parents. These fathers or mothers become disappointed
of
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
 verbal cautions and prefer to discipline their
children
Use synonyms
 corporally. To clarify, there is an ever-increasing trend of beaten
children
Use synonyms
 written in daily newspapers and magazines.
On the other hand
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,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 groups argue verbal cautions should be used as a tool in breeding
children
Use synonyms
. The advocates of
this
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 type claim parents should ultimately restrict
children
Use synonyms
 in accessing their
favorable
Replace the word
favorite
show examples
 things after disobediences without any corporal forces against them. They believe harsh actions will spoil the
children
Use synonyms
’s characters and make them aggressive in their future lives. As an example
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
 case, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some unpleasant news which
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 nervous teenagers who beat or hurt their friends after unfriendly discussions. In my honest opinion,
children
Use synonyms
 are not mature enough to distinguish what is wrong or right.
Therefore
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 considering rough measures for their childhood faults are extremely unfair. It will be beneficial to increase public awareness of dire consequences of physical punishments against
children
Use synonyms
 through social media. To conclude, not only can physical forces be problematic for offspring, but
also
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 may have negative impacts on their future lives and make them harsh and nervous.
Submitted by suna.habibi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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