IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A current trend in the UK is to encourage school leavers and new graduates to become enterpreneurs and run their own business. In fact, an academy has been established to teach young people how to become enterpreneurs. What factors have contributed to this trend? Discuss, giving examples.

#trend #uk #school #leavers #graduates #enterpreneurs #business #fact #academy #people #factors
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many young
people
Use synonyms
 want to be an entrepreneur and to create their own
business
Use synonyms
, while there are others who think that it is better to have a profession. In my opinion, I believe, that factors have contributed to
this
Linking Words
 trend are appropriate. On the one hand, running their own
business
Use synonyms
 is more effective,
also
Linking Words
, worthy than being someone’s employer and develop
others
Replace the word
other
show examples
business
Use synonyms
. Having
c
Add an article
a
show examples
hance being an employee, obviously, lessen
stressful
Change the adjective
stressfully
show examples
. There are
c
Add an article
the
a
show examples
apability of avoidance some stressful situations,
also
Linking Words
, no worry about some specific work problems,
for instance
Linking Words
, problems with coworkers, being criticized by
b
Add an article
the
a
show examples
oss, low salary. In my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
, your own
business
Use synonyms
 is your own ideas and
creature
Replace the word
creations
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having
p
Add an article
a
show examples
rofession helps keep
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
b
Add an article
the
a
show examples
alance between your work and life. If
people
Use synonyms
 start their own case, they will spend more part of their time for work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there will be doubts and unquestionably,
this
Linking Words
 is not easy to stabilize in
Use synonyms
b
Add an article
the
show examples
usiness world,
also
Linking Words
, the opportunities of thriving
business
Use synonyms
 are few and far between.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, not all
people
Use synonyms
, young
people
Use synonyms
 can deal with running
Add an article
a
the
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 and being a businessman, so,
people
Use synonyms
, who can risk and can overcome all obstacles, should be the entrepreneurs. Being the entrepreneurs
are not trend
Change the verb form
are not trended
are not trending
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 occurs by
c
Add an article
the
show examples
haracter of human. In conclusion, even if factors have contributed to
this
Linking Words
 trend are appropriate, there are not
Add an article
a
show examples
statement
Replace the word
stating
show examples
 that all should do trendy things.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: