In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require for financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Marriage

Use synonyms

is one of the most important

relationship

Change to a plural noun

relationships

show examples

between man and woman. We know about that for ages. But in contemporary

society

Add a comma

,society

show examples

some people believe that

women

Use synonyms

no longer feel the need to get married because they can have their own income. I agree with that situation just

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

particular

First

Linking Words

of all, if we discuss the traditional family the union of man and woman is a result of nature. Love is the greatest, wonderful, amazing kind of feelings and mostly

marriage

Use synonyms

is a consequence of love

such

Linking Words

as a confirmation of feeling.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a wedding usually is

Change the article

show examples

very beautiful event and as we know, almost every girl dreams about the wedding

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, if a woman things about children, the

marriage

Use synonyms

would be better for rising up them.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it can be a reason for

marriage

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, nowadays

women

Use synonyms

have many opportunities for development themselves. There are many countries where

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

allow them to

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

the same education as well as for men.

As a result

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

can have the same job and even

the

Change the article

show examples

bigger salary.

Thereus

Correct your spelling

There's

women

Use synonyms

feel more independent in comparison previous times when the main

Correct your spelling

woman

woman's

womans

Change to a genitive case

woman's

show examples

role was mostly as a housewife. Now she can pay for many things, including food, clothing, taxes, and gasoline.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, she can drive as well as a man, and it gives the freedom of movement for her as well. There are

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

reasons for enjoying herself. In conclusion, I would like to say that in my opinion, most cases

women

Use synonyms

want

Correct your spelling

get married at least once in their lives because the

marriage

Use synonyms

is a special event. But at the same

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

it would be better to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial independence for themselves.

Submitted by vero.05 on Wed Feb 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that schoolchildren should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both sides of the argument. Do you agree or disagree with pupils wearing uniforms?
The issue of dressing in uniform at school has sparked considerable debate in recent times. While some people argue that students must be in uniform, others maintain that they should have the freedom to choose their own attire. In my opinion, I totally agree with the subsequent perspective. This essay will explore both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion.
8
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Certain individuals argue that non-profit socially beneficial activities should be made mandatory in school education. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will explain with reasons and examples for my opinion.
<4
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
English has now become the most bold toung in the globe and for that credit goes to evoluation in tourism. This has made some people believe that English will become the only langauge to be spoken worldwide, There are few benifits and drawbacks of this trnd which are elabroted.
5
band
Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?
In the modern era, due to increase in prices of every essential thing need to surive a majorit of individuals insist that, folks must take a job which provide a good and stable salary to provide security to their family members. It is true that money is a very essential factor in choosing a job and I agree with this view. Hence, my stance is further elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs as well as several other things must be taken into consideration when applying for a Job.
6
band
Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued by some that the closing of small scale businesses will cause the demise of local communities because of the rapid growth of supermarkets and the inability of small shops to compete. In my opinion, I agree that the termination of local shops will bring about an end to the local areas. Firstly, many local people cannot afford the prices of goods from these large stores. Secondly, most of these supermarkets are situated far away from rural areas.

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require for financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that schoolchildren should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both sides of the argument. Do you agree or disagree with pupils wearing uniforms?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?