In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require for financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

Marriage

is one of the most important

relationship

Change to a plural noun

relationships

show examples

between man and woman. We know about that for ages. But in contemporary

society

Add a comma

,society

show examples

some people believe that

women

no longer feel the need to get married because they can have their own income. I agree with that situation just

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

particular

First

of all, if we discuss the traditional family the union of man and woman is a result of nature. Love is the greatest, wonderful, amazing kind of feelings and mostly

marriage

is a consequence of love

such

as a confirmation of feeling.

Moreover

, a wedding usually is

Change the article

show examples

very beautiful event and as we know, almost every girl dreams about the wedding

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Secondly

, if a woman things about children, the

marriage

would be better for rising up them.

Therefore

, it can be a reason for

marriage

On the other hand

, nowadays

women

have many opportunities for development themselves. There are many countries where

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

allow them to

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

the same education as well as for men.

As a result

women

can have the same job and even

the

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show examples

bigger salary.

Thereus

Correct your spelling

There's

women

feel more independent in comparison previous times when the main

Correct your spelling

woman

woman's

womans

Change to a genitive case

woman's

show examples

role was mostly as a housewife. Now she can pay for many things, including food, clothing, taxes, and gasoline.

Furthermore

, she can drive as well as a man, and it gives the freedom of movement for her as well. There are

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

reasons for enjoying herself. In conclusion, I would like to say that in my opinion, most cases

women

want

Correct your spelling

get married at least once in their lives because the

marriage

is a special event. But at the same

time

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,time

show examples

it would be better to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial independence for themselves.

Submitted by vero.05 on Wed Feb 10 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require for financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to you friend how did you spent your weekend?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. what are the causes? how should these young criminals to be punished?