some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the host nation. Others believe that thesze events are mainly large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #opportunity #show #world #qualities #host #nation #thesze #expense

Nowadays, international sporting

events

have been one of the most discussed topics in the world and some people believe that these

events

are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the

nation

who is going to host while others believe these

events

leads to wastage of money due to large expense. I definitely agree with the

first

argument. The following essay will give information about the argument on which I agreed. In today's world, many countries are organising sporting occasions and one of the main reasons behind

this

notion is that they get an opportunity to depict the cultural diversity of their

nation

. To illustrate, there is always an opening ceremony organized before the

events

get started and through

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

they get a chance to showcase their

nation

's talent.

For example

, some countries perform folk dances which represent their culture.

Additionally

, the public of that

country

also

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

a chance to show, in which sports they are proficient.

For instance

, some of them achieve a high score in synchronized swimming and that means the

country

is excellent in that sporting activity.

Moreover

, a major advantage of organising

such

activities is that people who belong to the host

nation

acquire

Remove the article

apply

show examples

inspiration and due to which, they

also

have the determination to participate in the

events

. To illustrate, young people become interested in

such

events

and due to

this

fact, they start practising every day , so that they can participate in

such

occasions and make the

country

proud by achieving a gold medal. To conclude , organising

such

events

does not lead to wastage of money but these give an opportunity to showcase

country's

Add an article

the country's

a country's

show examples

talent and

also

give

Change the article

the

show examples

inspiration to participate in

such

events

Submitted by manasiparmar97 on Sun Feb 14 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the host nation. Others believe that thesze events are mainly large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people support the development of agriculture, such as factory farming and creation of new fruits and vegetables. Others oppose this idea. Present both views.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people belive that the fast pace and stress of modren life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you aree or disagree?

Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?