Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

Children

's favourite haunts are

video

parlors

Change the spelling

parlours

show examples

, cyber cafes,

video

games

on the phone

Change the article

show examples

but some people believe that

this

type of

games

create

Change the verb form

creates

show examples

obstacles in the progress of the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

children

and outdoor

games

are very useful for

children

's growth

Add the comma(s)

,In

show examples

my opinion, I agree with

this

statement Upto certain extent because physical

activities

make

children

's strong, physically and mentally alert

however

video

games

and other hi technic gears are just part of the growing up in a digital world.

To begin

with,

children

are nothing but couch potatoes and their faces have no Ray of happiness and colour on them.It is because they do not take interest in physical

activities

ought these

activities

play

Change the article

show examples

important role in

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

development. Going for a walk daily , playing outdoor

games

are the keys

for

Change preposition

show examples

good health.some exercises can be operated upon in the open field rather than visiting gyms etcetera. It is

Change the article

the

show examples

cheapest and best ways to remain fit and healthy.After following these simple rules

children

can easily attain good, active and fit body as well as

peaceful

Add an article

a peaceful

show examples

and brilliant mind.

Moreover

children

should make it

Change the article

show examples

habit to enjoy outdoor

activities

because

that is

an elixir of life.

On the other hand

children

spend time on

video

games

, computer

games

, internet etcetera. These things bring a great change and a revolution in the modern competitive world. In conclusion , excess of everything is not a good habit. Both computer

games

and outdoor

activities

are are useful for

children

's development. But I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

physical

activities

are necessary for

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

development of the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

children

Submitted by rajeev kumar on Tue Feb 16 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
You recently took a long vacation. In your absence, a friend did you a huge favor.
I hope everything is going well for you. First of all, I truly want to express my gratitude for the support you provided with resolving the bank fraud happened with me while I was out of the town for the Vacation. I understand that you spend a lot of your precious time in explaining the situation to the bank representative, and I am very grateful to you for that.
5
band
Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends,whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems.what are the causes of this and what are some solutions.
There is no doubt that our old generation had led a more enjoyable and content life in the past.They had immense opportunities for exercise and spent quality time with their loved ones.However,in the contemporary society retires face a variety of issues which include loneliness and ill health.This essay will explore the several causes and try to find some solutions to the said problem.
8
band
Some people think advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think has negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with what they are and what they have. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Advertising indeed has both positive economic effects and negative social effects, and understanding these perspectives is crucial in forming a balanced opinion.
7.5
band
The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The most effective method to decrease the rate of younger generation crime is to have parenting educational programs for parents. I believe this way might be beneficial, although, schools have to take action either because this location has its own impacts.
7.5
band
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Before college, many young people are advised that a year of working or travelling may be a good option. This essay will suggest that experience gained and money saved are the biggest advantages of this, but delaying careers and reducing motivation to study are the primary disadvantages.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently took a long vacation. In your absence, a friend did you a huge favor.

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends,whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems.what are the causes of this and what are some solutions.

Some people think advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think has negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with what they are and what they have. discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.