In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In the
next
century,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
longer
life
expectancy
will
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
happened
show examples
in many regions around the world. It is a tendency to believe that
people
will live longer than usual in the
future
. There will be an older person more than
younger
Add an article
a younger
the younger
show examples
person because there are technologies and sciences beyond in health care systems.
Moreover
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education in health- sciences are
continue
Replace the word
continuously
show examples
improved by various researchers. These reasons had led to the
life
expectancy
quality in
people
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
. According to the
recently
Change the adverb
recent
show examples
research, many researchers in healthcare systems
are always discover
Change the verb form
always discover
show examples
the new knowledge about treatments to cure diseases which harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all patients.
For example
, the technologies and advanced medical industrials had led to the breakthrough in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
care system and make
people
stay in healthy. To keep
people
well- being, the education systems are now improving the knowledge about health development in school to educate the children about healthy
life
at
the
Change the article
a
show examples
younger age. These reasons bring the trends of longer
life
expectancy
to the current world.
At
Change preposition
From
show examples
this
point of view,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society in the
future
will be changed in recent decades. The more elderly living longer, the more
extent
Replace the word
extended
show examples
family have to
sarcrify
Correct your spelling
sanctify
specify
.
For instance
, it cannot
denied
Change the verb form
deny
be denied
show examples
the fact that most of elderly are vulnerable
people
. They need more caring from younger
people
and some families may need to
sarcrifice
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
their
life
and income to take care of them.
However
, the longer
life
expectancy
in
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
now proved that
people
are become
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
without losing their experiences in their workplaces after they were retired. In
recipitative
Correct your spelling
precipitative
precipitation
, there are many benefits and drawbacks in longer
life
expectancy
trends that will be soon happened.
Therefore
, I believe that
this
trend may challenge us to find
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ways to adapt in the
future
society.
Hence
, there will be a positive development in our society to living in
this
future
trend. An increase
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
to solve the problems that will happen to
ensure
Correct your spelling
insure
show examples
than
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
older
people
can live with younger
people
in effective ways.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: