In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development

In the

century,

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

longer

life

expectancy

will

be happened

Change to the active voice

happen

happened

show examples

in many regions around the world. It is a tendency to believe that

people

will live longer than usual in the

future

. There will be an older person more than

younger

Add an article

a younger

the younger

show examples

person because there are technologies and sciences beyond in health care systems.

Moreover

the

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apply

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education in health- sciences are

continue

Replace the word

continuously

show examples

improved by various researchers. These reasons had led to the

life

expectancy

quality in

people

nowaday

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nowadays

show examples

. According to the

recently

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recent

show examples

research, many researchers in healthcare systems

are always discover

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always discover

show examples

the new knowledge about treatments to cure diseases which harm

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apply

show examples

all patients.

For example

, the technologies and advanced medical industrials had led to the breakthrough in

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

care system and make

people

stay in healthy. To keep

people

well- being, the education systems are now improving the knowledge about health development in school to educate the children about healthy

life

the

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show examples

younger age. These reasons bring the trends of longer

life

expectancy

to the current world.

Change preposition

From

show examples

this

point of view,

the

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apply

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society in the

future

will be changed in recent decades. The more elderly living longer, the more

extent

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extended

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family have to

sarcrify

Correct your spelling

sanctify

specify

For instance

, it cannot

denied

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deny

be denied

show examples

the fact that most of elderly are vulnerable

people

. They need more caring from younger

people

and some families may need to

sarcrifice

Correct your spelling

sacrifice

their

life

and income to take care of them.

However

, the longer

life

expectancy

people

are

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show examples

now proved that

people

are become

aging

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ageing

show examples

without losing their experiences in their workplaces after they were retired. In

recipitative

Correct your spelling

precipitative

precipitation

, there are many benefits and drawbacks in longer

life

expectancy

trends that will be soon happened.

Therefore

, I believe that

this

trend may challenge us to find

the

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apply

show examples

ways to adapt in the

future

society.

Hence

, there will be a positive development in our society to living in

this

future

trend. An increase

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show examples

endeavor

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endeavour

show examples

to solve the problems that will happen to

ensure

Correct your spelling

insure

show examples

than

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

older

people

can live with younger

people

in effective ways.

Submitted by noppapat_k on Wed Feb 17 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

337 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should limit their children’s time to watch TV and play computer games and encourage them to read books. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

Science tells us that some activities are good for our health while some others are bad. Dispite knowing that millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change it

At the present time the population of some country include large number of young adult compared with no of older people do ou think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages