Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it is argued that doing activities outside is more advantages to 
children
's growth Use synonyms
instead
 of plane screen Linking Words
games
 in my opinion I completely agree with the given statement because outdoor Use synonyms
games
 help adolescence to build physical and mental health as well as juveniles get opportunity to develop creativity with the help of outside Use synonyms
games
 to be done with open air activities help Use synonyms
children
 to build strong bones and physical strength with regular exercise from playground increase appetite which help the body to the minerals and protein Use synonyms
in addition
 plain in sunshine Linking Words
also
 help to get vitamin D which is an essential nutrition for the development of body Linking Words
in contrast
 to playing Linking Words
games
 on computer which encouraged to sedentary lifestyle and give birth to many diseases like obesity and poor eye vision Use synonyms
furthermore
, playing outside enhance the mental health and develop the creativity by making interaction with friends Linking Words
moreover
 adolescents get chance to learn social skills and moral ethics for how to survive in society which is beneficial for their upcoming period of life and create a very good relationship with masses in their future As well as, it develops the personality  of Linking Words
children
 in the form of leadership and teamwork with the help of Use synonyms
games
 like, cricket, volleyball and basketball To conclude, open air Use synonyms
games
 are very beneficial for Use synonyms
children
 and I believe that outdoor activities are always advisable for young ones for their overall developmentUse synonyms
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
 - secondly
 - thirdly
 - in additional
 - moreover
 - also
 - for example
 - for instance
 - therefore
 - however
 - although
 - even though
 - despite