The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010. Write at least 150 words.

#show #percentage #people #sectors #towns #b #two #years

The two pie charts compare the rate of people working

different

Change preposition

in different

show examples

quarter

Fix the agreement mistake

quarters

show examples

in cities A and B in 1960 and 2010

respectivitly

Correct your spelling

respectively

. It is evident from the graph that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

town A was

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

production

and town B was pushed on sales

production

between 1960 and 2010. in the first , city A during 1960, sales and services

proportion

Change the noun form

proportions

show examples

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

30 % and 41% . in 2010, both

ratio

Change to a plural noun

ratios

show examples

were reduced meanwhile

production

ratio

was grow

Change the verb form

grew

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

around 35% in 2010 as

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

to 1960. in

second

, town B in 2010 , sales proportion was dip around 17% . in 2010,

services

Correct article usage

the services

show examples

and

production

ratio were

slight

Change the word

slightly

show examples

rise

Change the noun form

rises

show examples

around 2% and 15%

respectivily

Correct your spelling

respectively

Submitted by patelbhoomi168 on Thu Feb 18 2021

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

115 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010. Write at least 150 words.

In future it may be necessary for us to live on another planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to reseach another planets. Such as mars, to what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people are optimistic about the 21st century and expect scientists to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with their optimism? What changes do you like to see in your new century?