IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Any leader who is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion will accomplish little. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.

#leader #shifts #position
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In some particular regions of the United States, unless adolescents have the companionship of adults or their
responsibles
Correct your spelling
responsible
, they are forbidden to leave their homes after a certain hour of
night
Add an article
the night
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss the perspectives of
this
 matter and will,
further
, explain why I think that
teenagers
 should not be locked in their houses after a particular time at
night
.
To begin
 with, as the criminality grows throughout the country, a whole plew of people consider that adolescents need constant protection and company to prevent them to suffer
harasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 CORRECT YOUR SPELLING harassment The word
harasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure
this
 spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts. or be victims of
crime
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criminal
show examples
 activities.
Moreover
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crimes
Add an article
the crimes
show examples
 happen at
night
,
therefore
, forbidding youngsters to be out of doors at
night
 without an adult can decrease the likelihood to let somebody with bad intentions take their chances when passing by some
defenseless
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defenceless
show examples
 teen. The city council of New York showed some research in which was proved that eighty per cent of crimes
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 against adolescents happened at
night
.
Nevertheless
,
although
 restricting
teenagers
 to leave their homes alone at
night
 can be extremely harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their growth process. The possibility of leaving their homes at any time of the day or the
night
 can make
teenagers
 more responsible and independent.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 they would have to take care of themselves and pay attention to their surroundings, like any other person who
have
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has
show examples
 a regular life in society.The excess of protection, especially the measures that reduce
teens’s
Remove the s
teens’
show examples
 independency might compromise their success rate when deciding to
leaving
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leave
show examples
 home and start their own lives. To summarize,
although
 protecting
teenagers
 is a
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 inherent to adults, I believe that the negative effects of restricting their liberty can harm their process of growth and could be a barrier to their success when deciding to leave home and taking care of their own lives.
Submitted by andreluizrc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • steadfast
  • principles
  • undermine
  • credibility
  • adaptive
  • unrest
  • consensus
  • democratic societies
  • thoughtful consideration
  • stance
  • policies
  • short-term gains
  • progress
  • visionary
  • bending to the whims
  • beliefs
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