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Writing Samples
Band 4

one people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views on what subjects were focused
by
Change preposition
on by
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in their
study
Use synonyms
. Some people believe that
students
Use synonyms
 ought to learn all
subject
Use synonyms
 when they are in school while
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with those who think that teenagers should concentrate on the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 or best subjects which were found by
students
Use synonyms
. On one hand, the curriculum
is find
Change the verb form
is found
is finding
show examples
 the most suitable for all
students
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, all subjects were verified by
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of Education so
teenager
Add an article
the teenager
show examples
 can be follow those
subject
Use synonyms
 for the time when they
study
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as
mathmatic
Correct your spelling
mathematic
mathematics
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 has better at
calculate
Change the verb form
calculating
show examples
, history brings
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to historic place or event. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, all
stubject
Correct your spelling
subject
subjects
 is quite significant for the preparation before teenagers find their jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
sujects
Correct your spelling
subjects
 which the find the most excited always make
student
Use synonyms
relly
Correct your spelling
really
show examples
 want to
study
Use synonyms
. The moods of
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 the lesson are important because the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of leaner helps them absorb knowledge
depthly
Correct your spelling
depth
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 who
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
 math always gets a high score at that
subject
Use synonyms
 and really want to find something harder and enhance their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
subject
Use synonyms
 which
students
Use synonyms
 want to
study
Use synonyms
 can help them find
the
Remove the article
apply
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relatively
Change the adverb
relative
show examples
 jobs,
hence
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 are easy to get a high position and good salary on their career. In
concluson
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, all
subject
Use synonyms
 was quite needed for all
student
Use synonyms
 in their
study
Use synonyms
 but they should find their best
subject
Use synonyms
 to get more interesting on them.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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