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Band 5.5

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land in sea ? What are the reasons and solutions.

#species #activities #land #sea
The pollution problem in marine ecosystems has become getting serious as time goes by. It is high time we considered the factors that made
seas
 contaminated and the methods that we can practice.
Firstly
, there are some several reasons why
seas
 are moaning because of the pollutants. One of the reasons is because some mean factories or
companies
Add a verb
arecompanies
werecompanies
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 so uninterested in nature that they simply leak toxic chemical liquids to
seas
 to avoid a lot of taxes from their country.
Furthermore
, some tourists throw
their
Correct the word
theirs
show examples
 trashes into the
seas
 because of their laziness. Even though
big
Add an article
the big
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 ocean has the ability to purify any dirty things by themselves, it is not possible if they get too many pollutants.
As a result
, because of their unforgettable behaviours, marine organisms can get any severe illness or they can disappear in the end.
For example
, we can easily hear the news that sea turtles were chocked by large plastic wastes or killed due to contaminated seawater.
Secondly
, some human beings bother sea animals just for their time killing on purpose.
For instance
, in Japan, it is still legal to hunt rare whales though many international animal protection organizations demise it. Because of
this
, it seems that the whales are going to be extinct soon just for human's games. To solve the problems mentioned above,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
hopefully
Add a comma
,hopefully
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 there are some
actions
 that we can do before it is too late. On the one hand, we should ban any
actions
 that can be harmful to the
seas
. To specify more, governments should charge fines to big profit organizations much stronger than now so that they can't even imagine doing any undesirable things.
Also
, it would be helpful if governments provide some subsidies to them In conclusion, since there is a long way to go to protect the marine ecosystem, we should inhibit any harmful
actions
 and take
actions
 in many ways from now on.
Submitted by ggg on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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