IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Children should be allowed to choose subjects to learn at school. Do you agree with this statement?

#children #subjects #school
Some people think, that pupils should choose subjects by themselves.
On the other hand
, others guess, that it must be done by educational establishments. From my point of view, children should be allowed to make a choice about the courses they want to learn. My thoughts can be proved by
research
Add an article
a research
show examples
 of scientists from the USA and German education system. The psychologists from the USA universities have studied kids’ motivation about the topics, which were chosen on their own, and topics suggested by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
This
 search was described in the BBC TV-show. So, the results showed, that students were much more hardworking, while studied the
first
 type of materials.
In contrast
, they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not very interested in materials prepared by the teachers.
Therefore
, it is very essential to allow children to choose the studies they are really crazy about. One more example is Germany with
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
liberal
Add an article
a liberal
the liberal
show examples
 system of education. Teenagers there pick out courses from the wide list. They can take mathematics, foreign language, or dance.
As a result
, pupils can do
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
things that make them happy.
Furthermore
, teens go to school with pleasure and they are looking forward to each class. In conclusion, youth grows mentally healthy and they are big fans of studying. To sum up, the
world leading
Add a hyphen
world-leading
show examples
 countries,
such
 as Germany, the USA, etc. prove, that allowing infants to choose their exercises has more pros than cons.
That is
 why parents and teachers should think about changing the education system in other countries too.
Submitted by Alina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: