IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The clothing and fashion industry have a big influence on people. Is this good or bad thing.

#fashion #industry #influence #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The growing popularity of
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothing
show examples
 and other related accessories has a big impact on individuals.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some benefits of following that for an economy, it will lead to deprivation. In
this
Linking Words
 , essay I will discuss it as negatives with a benefit of it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it will flourish the apparel business and inject growth into the economy.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people will start spending on fashionable clothes and matching items related to it
such
Linking Words
 as earrings,
neckpiece
Fix the agreement mistake
neckpieces
show examples
, footwear and so on. Perhaps it will give a boost to the country as more money will circulate in the market which
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
positive for blooming the nation.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is not good for a single person. First of all, it will have an adverse effect on folks because they will start following their ideals blindly
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 wear branded and expensive outfits.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, they put
make-up
Correct your spelling
makeup
show examples
 on their skin to look flawless which contains toxic chemicals that are not good for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. The major effect will be on the younger generation as they will force their parents to buy them
such
Linking Words
 high-cost items making them stubborn as not everyone can afford to buy costly goods creating differences between parents and children.
Besides
Linking Words
, it will create dependence upon others
that
Change preposition
on
show examples
 what is trending and currently well-known in the industry which will reduce the mental ability of their own.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of the economy, its adverse effects on individuals can not be ignored.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is regarded as disagreeable.
Submitted by sumani.rajput1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure to fully address all aspects of the essay prompt to improve task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Well-developed introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: