Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

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It is true that using the mind
in
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inactive

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active
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an active

It appears that the article usage in the phrase active way is incorrect. Consider making a change.

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way during the free
time
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is very useful and brings a lot of benefits to the person, while other
people
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tend towards the
view point
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viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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that relaxing our
minds
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in that
time
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is very important. In my point of view,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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think that individuals should take the advantage of their free
time
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and improve their
minds
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. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that
people
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have to use their empty
time
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working on enhancing their
minds
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and do different
activites
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activities

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such
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as playing smart games and reading. One of the main reasons can be that during peoples' free
time
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they could refresh their
minds
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by knowing new information and they could increase the rate of
thier
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their

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intelligence by gaining
knowledege
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knowledge

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. The
second
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point can be that individuals can finish and complete their postponed works through that
time
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.
Thus
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, they can use their
time
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in useful ways.
For instance
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, a recent poll showed that almost the majority of
people
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used their
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

playing crosswords to raise their knowledge.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

possible to make the opposing case that relaxing your mind is the best method to use your leisure
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some
people
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have
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion because they feel that free
time
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is made only for relaxing and to take a rest. A particularly good example here is that
a
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the

It appears that the phrase a latest statistics does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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latest statistics gave data about the workers in offices hate to work or read in their free
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, while
people
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may vary in their opinions,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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believe that improving
minds
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

during leisure
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is extremely important.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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