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Band 4.5

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with? How do you think space exploration will change in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
Nowadays,
space
exploration
 is one of the global and actual issues. Some people consider that
space
 investigation is more about
glory
Add an article
the glory
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
, whereas others think that problem needs in international cooperation. I totally agree with the
last
 statement that studying
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
space
 requires coordinated efforts of several states.
This
 essay will
also
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunity of upgraded technologies to change
way
Add an article
the way
show examples
 of
space
exploration
 in the future. It is undeniable fact that leading governments tend to show their power to others, and often they show it by
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 technologies and weapons. The reason why they do it is to gain respect and profit from that.
For example
, during
Cold
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the Cold
show examples
War
Add a comma
,War
show examples
 there was a ‘
Space
 Race’ apart from hostilities.
Space
 Race,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
finished when
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 landed the
first
 human on Moon
,
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apply
show examples
 and
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 considered as a winner in
this
 competition,
therefore
 they obtained respect from other countries.
Human
Correct article usage
The human
show examples
 race faced many issues during the whole
mankind’s
Change preposition
of mankind’s
show examples
 history, and it usually happened that nations came together to find a solution. Global problems demand international efforts.
For instance
, the ISS is a multinational collaborative project, it was built to study
space
 together and exchange experience.
Therefore
, future
space
 projects, like Mars colonization cannot be overpowered by one country, but if nations unite, they will able to solve
this
 uneasy project. It is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 secret that
space
exploration
 will be altered by new technologies. Many futurists
foreseen
Add the auxiliary verb
foresaw
are foreseen
have foreseen
were foreseen
show examples
 that scientists will create new engines that will allow spaceships to travel in
space
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 extremely high speed. What we benefit from
this
 is that
space
 voyages will become common practice.
Moreover
, innovations can help in solving
problem
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the problem
show examples
 of overpopulation. To elucidate,
space
 studying is
topical
Add an article
a topical
the topical
show examples
 problem these days. Despite national pride that can frustrate the cooperation, I think that multinational efforts in
space
exploration
 will be
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 part. Technological advancement will lead to accelerated
space
 learning.
Submitted by anjelika-mama on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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