IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
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It is considered that
investigation
Add an article
the investigation
show examples
 of
space
 is more successful when
people
 around the world cooperate and set their sights
to
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on
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 common tasks. There is no doubt that exploring
the
Remove the article
apply
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space
 is really difficult
work
Add the particle
to work
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.
Space
 is still
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 mysterious place yet.
Therefore
, we need international efforts to reach
significant
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a significant
show examples
 achievement in
space
 exploration. Collaborated smart
people
 around the world can make
valuable
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a valuable
show examples
 influence at
investigation
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the investigation
show examples
 of
space
. There is progress created by
people
 who
has
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have
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 been competing with each other till
XX
Correct article usage
the XX
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 century. It is
force
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the force
a force
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 that helped
people
 push the boundaries and made amazing discoveries.
Furthermore
,
space
 exploration began with
cold
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the cold
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 war between USSR and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. It is obvious that
desire
Correct article usage
the desire
show examples
 to outrun and outplay helped them.
However
,
Space
 is
hardest
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the hardest
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 problem that humanity could face, so if we
want
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towant
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 achieve really precious discoveries humans should be able to contribute and collaborate with each other.
For example
,
space
 station “MIR” was
first
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a first
the first
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 international place where cosmonauts from around the world worked together and reached a lot of considerable highs. We can make a lot of important discoveries by dividing work between groups of
people
 in the future. Exploration
space
 is
complex
Add an article
a complex
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 task that impossible for one person or group of
people
. Cooperating
instead
 of doing it himself is better and often comes to significant results. Considering all achievements, we should clearly identify goals and make really considerable breakthroughs in the future. We should ignore
nation
Replace the word
national
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 borders and try hard as humans for
people
 and for
single
Add an article
a single
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 purpose. To conclude, exploring the
space
 is more efficient when
people
 able to cooperate, work for common goals and divide job in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way.
Investigation
space
 is still
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 difficult task, but if we can unite our international effort, it would be very useful and open many opportunities for
investigation
space
 in the future.
Submitted by bekeyeva_a on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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