Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #olympic #games #people #nations #olympics #wastes #money

Many people believe that

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

can bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unity to all

nations

. Others think that

this

event

is not important and wastes money. It is a tendency to believe that international

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games

are cost

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enormous money to organize the

event

However

, I believe that there are several benefits

Verify preposition usage

show examples

this

Olympic

event

. According to the point of view, the international

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games

such

Olympic

games

, It is the big

event

that happens once

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

every four years. It cost a vast financial investment to hold

this

event

For example

, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Olympic

games

in South Africa in 2010 and the governments have to

rebuilt

Change the verb

rebuild

show examples

many

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

stadiums around the

country

to hold the number of tourist around the world that attended the

Olympic

games

. For some

country

Add a comma

,country

show examples

this

event

is kind of the reputation of the

country

This

is the reason why many

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

over a trillion dollars to organize

this

event

while they could spend

this

amount of money to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

On the other hand

, there are various benefits

happen

Correct pronoun usage

that happen

show examples

Olympic

games

For instance

, it can bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unity in each

nations

Change to a singular noun

nation

show examples

to cheers their homeland competitors.

This

can bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

joyful moments to that

country

when they are in the winner positions.

Moreover

this

event

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people from different

nations

to be more generous to each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

as the

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

roles are.

Olympic

games

can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the tourism trends in the

country

as well;

there

Correct your spelling

thereby

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, the

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

will increase from the tourist around the world that visit

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the host

country

. In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks of

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

. In my opinion, I believed that

this

event

should

be happened

Change to the active voice

happen

have happened

show examples

continuously.

Therefore

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

joyful and unity can drive the happiness of people in every

nations

Change to a singular noun

nation

show examples

around the world

Submitted by noppapat_k on Wed Mar 03 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this

In some countries,owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.