IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did it in the past. Their behaviour is now having a negative impact on society. Discuss

#children #respect #parents #behaviour #impact #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For the
last
 few years, our
society
 is witnessing weaker familial relations. It is evident that younger ones are not conveying due regards to their
parents
. For sure
such
 negative way of behaving are having adverse consequences in
society
. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my views in detail.
Firstly
, an increase in the crime rate in
society
 is observed. Lack of thoughtfulness about
parents
 children may get more connected to many bad peers. It in turn result in addiction to smoking, cocktail etc. Studies show that a large number of children in their adolescence age group are habitual participants in night clubs without the consent of
parents
.
Such
 unauthorized parties are platforms for committing crimes.
Secondly
, growth in the number of Old-age homes is observed nowadays. Youngers do not value their
parents
 from childhood onwards.
Hence
, after their studies and on attaining a job, elders will become a burden for them.
Then
 they tend to discard them from their life. Unfortunately, our small state of Kerala has been witnessed a hike in
retired
Replace the word
retirement
show examples
 homes in the
last
 20 years.
Hence
 I would like to conclude by saying that children are having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy
relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
relationship
show examples
 with their
parents
 these days and it is crisp and clear that
society
 suffers adversely due to it. Hopeful in future it may revert back to its past state.
Submitted by neethuchackochan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: