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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so ?

#children #parents #part #time #job
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In the modern era,
parents
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 encourage their
children
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 to get
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part
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part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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 in their free
time
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.
This
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 encouragement may cause
children
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 to get
jobs
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 in their leisure
time
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 and if it happens, there would be some pros and cons in
this
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 situation. It is possible that younglings could learn what they want to be in the future,
on the other hand
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, they could be exposed to some bad experiences
in
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at
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 their young age like mobbing.
Firstly
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, it can be seen that adolescents have lower
life
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 experiences than their
parents
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.
Therefore
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, it is highly possible that
parents
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 can advise their
children
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 on what to do.
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Part
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Part-time
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time
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jobs
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 can be a great opportunity for young ones, especially if they are into that
job
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 at
this
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time
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. They can practice with that
job
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 that they want and they can gain hands-on experience
in
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at
show examples
 their young age. It can affect their
life
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 with good consequences
like
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as
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 if they want
this
Linking Words
job
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 for their future or not. It would be a great chance for
children
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 to build their future especially the
jobs
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 with an apprentice approach.
On the other hand
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, in society, all
job
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 opportunities would not end in a good way. Especially, adults with bad behaviours can cause serious damages to
children
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 who worked with them. It can be various acts like mobbing or harassment. Individuals who want to benefit from
children
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's inexperience in business
life
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 and who are not suitable for
social
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a social
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life
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 can cause serious psychological traumas in
children
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. That’s why
parents
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 should be watchful and they always supervise their
children
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 when they are working in a
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
job
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. To summarize,
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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jobs
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 can be good for
children
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for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 choosing their careers and they can be even better when
parents
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 supervise their
children
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 when they are working.
This
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 action can prevent
children
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 from harassing. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
jobs
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 can be helpful for adolescents.
Submitted by serhat.kayaa3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
What to do next:
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