Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more vital
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
teenagers
should take
part
in outdoor sporting
events
rather than spending time on gaming consoles.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement because
this
trend will help
children
to have a fit body and playing sports will make them a better human being.
Firstly
, outdoor activities are physically demanding and when
teenagers
engage themselves in these
events
,
this
will make them physically healthy.
This
is because taking
part
in outdoor
events
strengthen their bones and muscles.
Therefore
, it leads to
children
having a life free from diseases,
such
as for overweight. T
illustroate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, a recent study by Cambridge University found that
children
who take
part
in sporting
events
are more likely to live a healthy life than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
do not.
Secondly
, playing outdoor
games
will make
children
a better overall person when they become adults.
This
is because while playing in group
games
teenagers
learn different traits like leadership, coordination and cooperation. These skills will help them in the later stages of life when they will be required to work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as a team at the workplace. These skills cannot be learned by
children
who play video
games
only.
For example
, in the US, it is mandatory for all students to take
part
in outdoor
games
because authorities believe that
teenagers
become better citizens
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
playing outdoor
games
like football, baseball. In conclusion, it is very important that
children
must take
part
in outdoor
games
because
this
will make them physically strong and
children
are more likely to become good persons.
Submitted by AMARJIT SINGH on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical health
  • exercise and movement
  • social interaction
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • holistic approach
  • environmental awareness
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • posture
  • balance
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