IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on computers. What are some problems associated with reliance on computer and what are some of the possible solutions

#students #computers #reliance #computer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the 21st century, contingent upon electronic devices
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 on rising, especially school-goers, who extensively use laptops and desktops to the peak
level
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, there are certain consequences of excessive use of these.
This
Linking Words
 essay would analyse both the impact and solutions.
Linking Words
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 to consider, the elevated
access
Use synonyms
 among pupils
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 lead to a lack of cognitive skills development. Rather than giving our brain to work, when we give the computer to process our works, the intellectual thinking of the
students
Use synonyms
 are lowering drastically.
For example
Linking Words
, in western countries, the research has done with several
students
Use synonyms
 who
access
Use synonyms
 more and with less.
Besides
Linking Words
, the results have shown the IQ
level
Use synonyms
 of those who
access
Use synonyms
 more seems very low than the others who
access
Use synonyms
 fewer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these adversities can be reduced by taking certain measures. As we humans should concentrate on taking the right balance of the consequences .The education system can encourage activity-based syllabus in schools. In the educational ,curriculum the government or the authorities should include activity-based pedagogy,
therefore
Linking Words
 the
access
Use synonyms
 to computers can be reduced to a certain
level
Use synonyms
 and the
students
Use synonyms
 by themselves interact with other
students
Use synonyms
 and by themselves develop their intellectual skills.
For example
Linking Words
, The Sri Lankan education department has set up the curriculum mostly knowledge-based syllabus,
therefore
Linking Words
 the
students
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 country comparing to other nations have higher IQ
level
Use synonyms
. To conclude, the accelerated adversities due to excessive utilization of electronic devices among
students
Use synonyms
 are obvious.
Hence
Linking Words
, I believe, it is the responsibility of the rulers of a nation, parents and the related authorities to deploy proper rules and regulations for the betterment of future generation
Submitted by nandhini_a27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: