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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion

#people #work #life #interest #hobbies #leisure #interests #jobs #attitudes
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Great jobs often
comes
Change the verb form
come
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 with passion. Most successful
people
 are excellent in their
work
.
This
 indicates that
daily
Add an article
a daily
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 profession plays an important role in
people
's lives. At the same time, to ease their stress, hobbies and leisure interest keep things in
balance
. Keeping a job is far more important, and having hobbies can help to
balance
 up everything in life. Everyone needs to earn a living. Some rare, lucky ones enough to be successful by doing what they love and at the same time, getting
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
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 out of it. To most
people
, earning a living is compulsory to make ends meet. Take a look around at those who are working 9 to 5. They
work
 their way day in and day out
,
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apply
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 and get the rewards by the end of the month. Even the rich and famous have to
work
 their way through fame and glamour. Take Kim Kardashian
for example
, she is on the top of the world,
then
 again, she still works to retain all her wealth. Hobby and leisure
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 in
second
 priority. Working is vital, but that does not mean that a
person
 should totally forget their interest. Having and spending leisure time is important to keep life stress-free. Having a
balance
 to
this
 is extremely important. Having more passion
towards
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for
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 a hobby over earning a living might lead to debts. If a
person
 loves to travel, they should have sufficient funds in the
first
 place. Without it, the
person
 might have to
work
 triple times harder to pay the debt, and forgetting about the things that
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 that individual happy. To conclude, working is important to ensure a
person
's well-being. Passion towards hobbies should come afterwards without totally forgetting about it. They both come hand-in-hand to ensure that
people
's lives are in
balance
, stress-free and having the capability to be successful.
Submitted by Fazu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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