IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

When young people are choosing what subject to study at university, most of them hope they will find a great
job
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 upon graduation. In
reality
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reality,
show examples
 many fresh
graduates
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 fail to find work in their field and some are even forced to take up a below graduate level
job
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. In my opinion, the root of
this
Linking Words
 problem lies in the outdated higher
education
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 system that should be modernized. Traditional university
education
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 does not prepare
students
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 for their first
job
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 for a number of reasons. One of them is that many programmes are too theoretical. It means that highly educated
graduates
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 lack simple skills required for employment,
for example
Linking Words
, the knowledge of IT software. Employers,
therefore
Linking Words
, prefer candidates with hands-on experience. Another reason is that
universities
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 offer too many courses in popular fields,
such
Linking Words
 as business and law, and do not recruit enough
students
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 for engineering and science programmes.
As a result
Linking Words
, the UK labour market has an oversupply of law
graduates
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 and a deficit of engineers. A reform of higher
education
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 could alleviate many of the problems but would require joint efforts from
universities
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 and the government. If
universities
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 worked closer with employers, they could teach
students
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 practical skills that companies look for. Meanwhile, the government could develop guidelines on how many
students
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universities
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 should recruit in each subject in accordance with the market demand. In conclusion, a likely reason why many
graduates
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 cannot find a
job
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 in their field is because
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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 might not have provided them with the right
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
st
Correct word choice
apply
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or an in-demand profession. I think that
universities
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 and the government could improve the situation by updating the content of the programmes and limiting the number of
students
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 in each subject in line with the market demand.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate job placement
  • current job market trends
  • practical experience
  • job openings
  • employment prospects
  • geographical barriers
  • automation and technological advances
  • economic conditions
  • mismatch between education and job market demands
  • over-saturation
  • theoretical knowledge
  • competitive job market
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