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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education is not the only criterion for getting a job now as we find in many countries people remain jobless even after completing their studies. What are the reasons behind youth unemployment and what problems arise due to it? What solutions do you think this can have?

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Education is an important tool which is very useful in everybody's life. These days many educated and highly skilled are struggling to get a proper job. Migrated
people
Use synonyms
 in developing countries
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
encountered
Wrong verb form
encounter
show examples
this
Linking Words
 same problem in many cases. In my opinion, there are two main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 including
skills
Use synonyms
 mismatch,
inconsistency
Correct word choice
and inconsistency
show examples
 in salary. I think the problem can be solved by the
government
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
skills
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 mismatch
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 youth unemployment causes and affects
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 everywhere. There were a million of your
people
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 who graduated and
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 to work, but businesses need
skills
Use synonyms
 these young
people
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 never got. The factories and companies had fewer
Use synonyms
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
 positions for the ones we are looking for
jobs
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
, only in Thailand, during the
last
Linking Words
 two decades,
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical graduates
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 not found enough fortunes for practising in their home country. Another reason is
that
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is
Correct pronoun usage
there is
show examples
 a far considerable gap between the salary of
skills
Use synonyms
 and experience in their
jobs
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. Some companies
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 high experience rather than
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
, which
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the quality and security of
jobs
Use synonyms
 available for your
people
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. Temporary position part-time work,
zero-hour
Correct word choice
and zero-hour
show examples
contacts
Fix the agreement mistake
contact
show examples
 are often the only way young
people
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 can earn money or gain
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 these days.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, all these effects come with solutions. The
government
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 may provide grants to graduates to start their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the authorities have set up crowdfunding sites like Kiva.org and connect youth
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
international
Change the word
internationally
show examples
 to give young
people
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to get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the support
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 need to start up their businesses and increase their incomes.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
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 and education system need to start collaborating to determine what knowledge and
skills
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 youth should be taught in order to find
jobs
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. In conclusion, I would say that there are some more reasons to engage in
this
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 matter but there are the main terms that could have the greatest impact.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order for us to fix all these, the solution
propose
Wrong verb form
proposed
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be supported by a great team
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 the
government
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, but each paragraph could be developed further with additional examples or explanations for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical accuracy and clarity, especially in your sentence structure.
task achievement
You clearly identified key issues contributing to youth unemployment, such as skills mismatch and salary inconsistencies.
task achievement
You provided some relevant solutions that can address these problems, showing a thoughtful engagement with the topic.
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