IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Traffic and housing problems in major cities can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
These days with
increases
 urban populations, there are major problems with congestion not only price but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 the
avaliablity
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availability
 of
accomodition
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accommodation
 in large
cities
 in the worlds. They can only
solved
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solve
be solved
show examples
 by moving companies and factories to the countryside. I strongly agree
this
 has positive side effects in making
cities
 more liveable.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic is
major
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a major
show examples
 problem in the
cities
 but it is not from commuting
employement
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employment
 sides but
also
 from the general public transportation in the
cities
. While
this
 may be fact
,
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apply
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 if the number of employee vehicles
are
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is
show examples
 reduced on
cities
 street, a
laege
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large
 population decrease in rush hours.
For example
, the peaks hour traffic
situtation
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situation
 is employee go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work and to home.
Secondly
, in regards to housing problems,
population
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the population
show examples
is always
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is always increasing
show examples
increases
 in the
cities
.
However
,The large apartments are fulled
with
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of
show examples
employee
Add an article
an employee
the employee
show examples
 with their firms and family.
Therefore
, If the housing estate shifted to the countryside, city
apartement
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apartment
 cost will be reduced and
certaintly
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certainly
increases
 in availability.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, relocating the worker to
rular
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regular
 areas to work and reside. The heavy traffic and lack of
accommaditon
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accommodation
 problems in the
cities
changes
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change
show examples
 better. As far as I am concerned, I agree the government enforce
such
 a law
to
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in
show examples
 inorder to
increases
 our standard of living in our hectic life.
Submitted by sahithi881998 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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