Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantage of this is outweigh the disadvantage ?

Nowadays, Because of the big international companies, local businesses are being affected and at

someplace

Correct your spelling

some place

show examples

it is extinct. I clearly state that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

This

time government is more focusing on multinational groups like arranging more n more summits and arranging conferences because it can be a very essential source of government income and

also

citizen can get jobs because of it.

For example

, In the

last

year survey, 30%

citizen

Change preposition

of citizen

show examples

gets job and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

earns 15% more money from taxes

Change preposition

from

show examples

international teams. Whereas

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

second

beneficial of the multinational brand is, they are becoming advanced day by day and due to their high-level technology people are becoming intelligent.

For instance

, people are preferring online shopping due to their online shopping facility which is not available in local work.

Moreover

, it

also

has disadvantages to some extent. Owners of the local trade are

also

focusing

for

Change preposition

show examples

advancement.

Also

, they are trying to provide their best in quality and service but they can not come close to multinational brands that’s why these day’s local employment

are

Change the verb form

show examples

going to downward. To exemplify, They could not afford to provide service and manage stocks like multinational associations. In conclusion, multinational brands are much beneficial than the local businesses for citizens because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can provide more earning sources whereas the economy of local business is going

apply

Fix the infinitive

to apply

show examples

downward.

Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on Sat Apr 03 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by a selection of individuals that the younger generation these days causes more social problems as their parents mostly spend their time on working and do not stay with their offspring. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
<4
band
Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.
The high authorities spend huge amount of capital on the arts rather than spending money on rising issues such as, poverty, global crisies and increasing crime rate. According to my opinion government should give more importance to current issue and invest capital on developing the nation.
7.5
band
Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
In contemporary times, the Internet has made humans' lives become more convenient, especially in communication. In this essay, I agree with this development and contend that smartphones and some social media are the primary reasons, which cause modern society.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In digital era, overused on smartphones has become inevitable problem due to contant-update features and apps. That affects some children spending too many hours on their gadget everyday. If that is the case, I think the advancement of technology, mainly on smartphone is already being directed to negative development rather than positive one.
6
band
Some people think that space exploration can benefit humans in many aspects. Others think that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Space exploration includes the use of science and space technology to explore outer space with rockets and high-tech robots. It is often thought that space study is advantageous to us in a lot of ways, whereas others claim that it brings us disadvantages. In my opinion, I consider that space research is very beneficial to everyone.

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantage of this is outweigh the disadvantage ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people think that space exploration can benefit humans in many aspects. Others think that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.