Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree.
There is no doubt that
government
must have a check on activities that are hazardous to the lives of the community of the country. Correct article usage
the government
Due to
this
, some believe that the state must restrict perilous sporting events like skydiving and rock
climbing. However
, I disagree with this
view and would like
explain why I do so, in Add the particle
like to
this
essay.
First of all, let us try to understand why the public wants a ban on adventurous activities like skydiving and rock
climbing. At a young age
there is a feeling to take adrenaline to its peak; Add a comma
age,
as a result
, youngsters get into such
risky pastime
. Fix the agreement mistake
pastimes
However
, this
sometimes results in fatal accidents and injuries. So, these sports
are expected to be checked by the law so as to safeguard the lives of such
youth and their families. Also
, such
sports
hardly contribute anything to society, which nation
think is the duty of the younger generations. So to save them from the dangers of Fix the agreement mistake
nations
such
fun and their role towards the community, the laws must strictly govern such
sports
.
Now let us have a look at the other view, youth in every generation has pushed the limits of human capabilities. Athletics such
as skydiving and rock
climbing leads
to Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
develop
a strong body Replace the word
the development of
as well as
minds
. With the increasing craze in the new generation, these Fix the agreement mistake
mind
sports
have started contributing to the economy of the nation. Even young people nowadays are attracted to tourism with the help of such
sports
. The modern gears have also
made such
dangerous sports
into safe ones; for example
, deaths due to
such
sports
are way less the death that happens in road accidents every year. So, such
sports
must be encouraged as per
my view.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in
although
sports
like sky diving
and Correct your spelling
skydiving
rock
climbing seem dangerous to some, I would disagree with it
because Correct pronoun usage
them
the
modern safety Correct article usage
apply
gears
and training have made Fix the agreement mistake
gear
it
safer and they Correct pronoun usage
them
also
contribute to the economy by encouraging travel and tourism amongst younger crowds.Submitted by himthakkar98 on
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task response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt. It presents a clear argument with relevant examples and perspectives. However, ensure that the position is maintained throughout the essay, and elaborate more on the counter-argument for a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion. The ideas are well-connected, but there could be smoother transitions between paragraphs. Ensure that the progression of ideas is clear and the overall organization of the essay is well-maintained.
lexical resource
The essay showcases a good range of vocabulary with appropriate and varied use of expressions related to the topic. However, ensure that the vocabulary is used accurately and precisely to convey the intended meaning.
grammatical range
The essay displays a commendable command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. However, attention should be given to sentence constructions and the accurate use of grammatical forms and tenses for a more polished and sophisticated expression.