In modern times young adults spending more time with their friends and less time with family. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In
this
competitive era, people
are engaged
Change the verb form
have engaged
show examples
their graveyards shift leads to ameliorated and exotic lifestyles, under which they find it arduous extract
time
for masses have no enough
time
to spend with young ones. Nowadays,
parents
have limited
time
to spend with their
children
so adults like to share their all joy or sorrow with friends rather than family. According to my opinion guardians haven't
push
Change the verb form
pushed
show examples
their kids to stay most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
at
home
. I will discuss all
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
in the posterior paragraphs. Admittedly,
generation
Add an article
the generation
show examples
gap is the big issues in these days
parents
put certain restrictions on their upbringing for their better future but
children
have to
lived
Change the verb
live
show examples
their life according to their style.
Moreover
,
parents
are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
business, meetings and other household responsibilities, they have no leisure
time
to share with their kids.
For example
,
parents
have job 9 to 6 almost
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
day they spend outside the house when they reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
that
time
children
playing with their friends.
However
, forcing for anything is not
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
way to share quality
time
with teenagers. In modern days, adults have enough load to their studies, tuition, extra activities. They can hardly spend
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing guardians should not pull their
children
to play at
home
.
Firstly
,
parents
should understand their young ones feeling how they like to play and what kinds of game they like it. Guardians should plan for a vacation with their
children
and understand their feelings. To conclude, in hectic schedule everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
storage of
time
but they
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
a proper
time
table
then
parents
spend
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
time
with their love ones and that
time
they younger like to stay at
home
with their family.
Submitted by varinder on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital connectivity
  • Peer interaction
  • Independence
  • Generational gap
  • Societal norms
  • Nuclear family
  • Extracurricular
  • Urbanization
  • Mobility
  • Social development
  • Counterproductive
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Personal space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: