IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Which are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
In several parts of the world,
science
 is being ignored by
students
. The problem of ignorance of
science
subjects
 as
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 subject by adolescence could have
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
 essay will discuss possible reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem and the effect on society.
Firstly
,
science
subjects
 are
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
 area to choose
a main
Correct the article-noun agreement
a main subject
main subjects
show examples
subjects
,
students
 who choose
science
subjects
need
Add the particle
to need
show examples
 to put some extra effort to
cape
Correct your spelling
cope
show examples
 up with studies. So the main reason why
students
 ignoring
science
subjects
 can be extra effort and stress. The survey conducted in 2011 by
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 chartered of education suggests that the main reason why teenagers not enough choose
science
subjects
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 stress. Adolescence
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 stress-free
subjects
 like business management and art.
Secondly
,
attraction
Add an article
the attraction
show examples
 of
students
 towards other
subjects
instead
 of
science
 would create
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 in specialists field. There would fewer people in the field of
science
. It leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of unemployment.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it brings to economical problems, the number of scientists will reduce and
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of other specialists will increase so it brings to unemployment. To conclude,
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ignoring
science
 by
students
 is
demand
Add an article
the demand
a demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 field and
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
show examples
 factors.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 and
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of the country.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: