Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Quiet
Correct your spelling
Quite
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a number of individuals
belief
Replace the word
believe
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that forceful attitude usually depicted in movies and video
games
has a negative impact on the population’s behaviour;
however
, some other
people
do not think it does. I
belief
Replace the word
believe
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that watching violence on television or playing violence-oriented
games
has a significant negative effect on how
people
act. Analyzing that young
people
belief
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believe
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what they see or hear and that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is a reflection of what they are exposed to
,
Remove the comma
apply
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proves
this
.
To begin
with, young individuals usually agree more with and act based on what they see or hear.
For instance
, children who grew up in peaceful and hospitable environment tend to be more loving and accommodating compared to those that are raised in slums and ghettos. Unfortunately, most of the movies and
games
children are exposed to are those depicting violent characters and acts.
Therefore
, it is safe to say that watching forceful kind of shows or playing
games
with
violent
Add an article
the violent
a violent
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display is likely to influence one’s character badly.
Moreover
, the way a society behaves
,
Remove the comma
apply
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reflects the kind of information it is exposed to.
For example
, it is known that societies in which information on sexual behaviour are readily available are likely to improve their sexual health than those in which the same information
are
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is
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concealed. So, when
people
are open to violent shows, they are likely to be deceived
to
Change preposition
into
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believing that being forceful is the correct way of life. Justifiably, it could be deduced that “what an individual is exposed to may influence them”. To sum up, individuals are influenced by what they see or hear and the way
a
Correct article usage
apply
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people
behave reflects what they are exposed to. I think that violence
on
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in
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contemporary media has a significant impact on the negative behaviour of the populace. With
advancement
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the advancement
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in technology,
this
trend is like to continue.
Submitted by kuyeoj on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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