IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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Retirement
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age
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 is an
age
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 when every working individual takes a break from
work
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 and gets paid for the services that they have done for their
company
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. Some people believe that having a fixed
retirement
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age
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 for everyone irrespective of their occupation is unfair and certain
workers
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 should allow taking early
retirement
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. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument and I will indicate my view with examples.
To begin
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 with, people tend to become weak as they grow older. Different occupations demand different kinds of skills. Certain
workers
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 need physical
strength
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 to perform their duties.
This
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 physical
strength
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 and stamina reduce with ages. While other occupation like office
work
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demands
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 less physical energy.
Hence
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,
workers
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 whose
work
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demands
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 more physical energy need to be given early
retirement
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.
For example
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, the
workers
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 in the coal mine whose
work
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demands
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strength
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 and stamina worsen as they grow older.
However
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,
workers
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 sitting in a library do not need to have much physical
strength
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.
In addition
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, people who have served a lot for a
company
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 for a longer duration could be given early
retirement
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. Certain
workers
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 who have dedicated most of their life working for a
company
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 should be allowed to reap the benefits of
retirement
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 at an early
age
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.
For instance
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, my father started working for a
company
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 in Thailand at the
age
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 of 20. He was allowed to take early
retirement
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 by considering the tenure of his
work
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 in the
company
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. In conclusion, having a common
retirement
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age
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 for all kinds of
workers
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 is unfair.
Workers
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 whose
work
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demands
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 more physical energy and
workers
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 who have served their
company
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 for a longer duration should be allowed to take early
retirement
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.
Submitted by o_unanan on

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