IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Some organisations prefer their
employees
 to wear professionals
clothes
 whilst others have a contrasting viewpoint. They focus on the
quality
 of their
work
.
Although
, smart
dresses
 maintain dignity at
work
 which smoothens the
flow
 of
work
 but I believe if the
work
 is not of good
quality
, attire does not impact. On one side,
dresses
 maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dignity at
work
. Smart
dresses
 help to smoothens the
flow
 of
work
. Some
dresses
 are comfortable;
nevertheless
, some are not. Smart
dresses
 are those which make the person, who wears
this
, comfortable. If the people at
work
 feel good, they will
work
 without any disturbance. Their
work
 will not interrupt .
For instance
, trousers and shirts are comfortable to wear as compare to traditional
clothes
, these make people comfortable at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
. In offices, people have to sit on chairs for long hours.
Such
clothes
 make
this
 sitting comfortable which helps in
smooth
Add an article
the smooth
a smooth
show examples
flow
 of
work
. On the other side,
quality
 of
work
 is crucial and
this
 has no link with
attire
Correct article usage
the attire
show examples
 of the
employees
. Every organisation's identity is the
quality
 of services and goods they provide.
This
 is connected with the
work
 of their
employees
. Their
work
 is dependant on their skills. For skills, better
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and qualifications are required. Smart
clothes
 are not connected with
this
.
For example
, most companies focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular induction
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 because they are aware of
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
. They know that
quality
 of
work
 is crucial which is directly dependant on the qualification of their
employees
. In conclusion, smart dress is vital for a smooth
flow
 of
work
 as
this
 makes the
employees
 comfortable at
work
. I consider
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
work
 is more important than dress as every organisation is identified from their
work
.
Submitted by Priya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: