IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
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In
this
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 modern era schools are creating numerous
courses
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 other than teaching important subjects to the
students
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.
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However
Add a comma
,However
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 some people argue that the school time activity should be solely used for learning while others argue that they should provide extra curriculum
courses
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. On the one
hand
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,hand
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
says
Change the verb form
say
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 that kids should be taught only those
courses
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 in which they are enrolled so that they cannot be distracted
for
Change preposition
from
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 their field of course.
For instance
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, if kids are enrolled in
engineering
Correct article usage
the engineering
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 department they think that student should be given lessons on only those subjects which are necessary for
this
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 field of study.
Where as
Correct your spelling
Whereas
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 ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 some people argue that
students
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 should
also
Linking Words
 be given other
courses
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 depending upon their hobbies so that it keeps them actively participate in other extra activities, and they think that it keeps
students
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 more engaged.
For example
Linking Words
, if pupils are given teachings of
culinary
Add an article
the culinary
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 department they get skills of both engineering and culinary which allows them to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their hobbies. To summarize the two sides of the argument giving various skills to the
students
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 other than their
Correct your spelling
field
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filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 of study is more advantageous.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is always good to have extra subjects so that it keeps
students
Use synonyms
 more actively engaged and enhance their skills.
Submitted by 22295.uk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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