IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

#government #ban #places #people #freedoms
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Smoking is injurious to health. It can even cause deadly diseases like cancer. The authority should have
laws
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 that prohibit smoking in public areas because it affects
non-smokers
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 as well whereas it would cause some
people
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 to have limited independence. I personally agree with
this
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 viewpoint for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs.  To commence with, smoking in public
places
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such
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 as restaurants, pubs, coffee shops, parks and offices should be banned by
laws
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. Banning smoking in public space makes
non-smokers
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 safer.
Also
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,
people
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 who smoke subject themselves to fatal diseases by decision so
non-smokers
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 cannot be forced to be around it.
Moreover
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, the
laws
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 banning smoking may persuade some
people
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 to quit and make a more secure environment for others. The government should have
laws
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 to determine specific
places
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 for a smoker to separate from other
people
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.
However
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, restrict areas might make some smokers feel their lost their freedoms.
In addition
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, several
people
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 are dying because of smoking. Cigarettes contain the nicotine that makes
people
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 addicted to smoking.
Therefore
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, it is difficult for smokers to stop
this
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 habit. Smoking not only harms the smoker, but
also
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 those who are nearby. In many countries smoking being banned in public
places
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 to protect
non-smokers
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 due to health damages, and effects on the environment.
For example
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, In China developed a smoking policy that only a smoke-free law that bans smoking in all indoor public areas, without exemptions. In conclusion, I personally agree that it should be made illegal to smoke in public
places
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.
This
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 would improve the health of
people
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, and it would be done by the government.
Submitted by o_unanan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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