Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #time #activities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Exercise is always playing a vital role in

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

life.It is believed that parents should encourage offspring to invest less time

Change preposition

in academic

show examples

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

and more time devoted to strong

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

.I completely

accord

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

statement and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in forthcoming paragraphs with relevant illustrations. To commence with, why guardians need to encourage their juveniles to spend more time in body

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

, the reason behind

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

that children always live fit if they do more focus on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise and never survive with any health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, everyone knows that education is very significant for pupils.

However

Linking Words

, if students participate in any sports

activities

Use synonyms

, the former could not find any difficulty with a medical issue.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if the person

will

Verb problem

show examples

not fit

then

Linking Words

it is not possible for him to give an examination if he or she suffering from a fever To add more, children should participate in sports

activities

Use synonyms

Due to

Linking Words

the

fact

Add a comma

fact,

show examples

they could learn many things from there

such

Linking Words

as discipline, communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and team spirit.

For instance

Linking Words

, cricket has 11 members of the team.Everyone knows their own responsibilities over there.People can learn how to play with teamwork and how to stay calm in any circumstances.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,it will help to expand their friend circle.

Therefore

Linking Words

, paying attention to strong exercise

always

Add a missing verb

is always

show examples

crucial in

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

lives.

To conclude

Linking Words

, owing to the reasons

such

Linking Words

as children always live fit, fine and strong with the body

activities

Use synonyms

and always learn teamwork and more socialize in their life.I am in favour of who opine parents should motivate to their wards to do more focus on physical strength

activities

Use synonyms

Submitted by mr.gouravmahajan on Sun Apr 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Develop your main points more clearly and provide relevant examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and make sure there is coherence between your ideas.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
intro- it is a good idea,
7
band
Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In contemporary society, a number of supermarkets are selling a diverse array of items from all over the world without limitation on the products produced locally. This essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and issue my own perspective that there are more benefits than the drawbacks.
7.5
band
In the past important knowledge and history were stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the Internet therefore is no longer a need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The source of gathering historical knowledge has changed from museums to the World Wide Web for free of cost hence there is no requirement to visit a place that showcases ancient events. I agree with the notion because surfing on the web not only saves time but is also pocket-friendly.
5.5
band
Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.
In today's era, parents tend to put their children under a lot of pressure for success. Some people believe it is better for the children's future and others believe it will do more harms to the children. There are various reasons why parents are more and more success driven. In my opinion, it is a negative development which i will elaborate in this essay.
5
band
More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is believed that offline teaching will be substituted by artificial intelligence in near future. I disagree with this statement because every student is different thus requires individual approach. The other way of study that meets this requirement is using online courses preferably with curator.

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past important knowledge and history were stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the Internet therefore is no longer a need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.