Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Exercise is always playing a vital role in
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
life.It is believed that parents should encourage offspring to invest less time
Change preposition
in academic
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academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
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and more time devoted to strong
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
.I completely
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with
this
statement and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in forthcoming paragraphs with relevant illustrations. To commence with, why guardians need to encourage their juveniles to spend more time in body
workout
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workouts
show examples
, the reason behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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that children always live fit if they do more focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise and never survive with any health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
For example
, everyone knows that education is very significant for pupils.
However
, if students participate in any sports
activities
, the former could not find any difficulty with a medical issue.
Moreover
, if the person
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
not fit
then
it is not possible for him to give an examination if he or she suffering from a fever To add more, children should participate in sports
activities
.
Due to
the
fact
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fact,
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they could learn many things from there
such
as discipline, communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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and team spirit.
For instance
, cricket has 11 members of the team.Everyone knows their own responsibilities over there.People can learn how to play with teamwork and how to stay calm in any circumstances.
Apart from
this
,it will help to expand their friend circle.
Therefore
, paying attention to strong exercise
always
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is always
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crucial in
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
lives.
To conclude
, owing to the reasons
such
as children always live fit, fine and strong with the body
activities
and always learn teamwork and more socialize in their life.I am in favour of who opine parents should motivate to their wards to do more focus on physical strength
activities
.
Submitted by mr.gouravmahajan on

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task response
Develop your main points more clearly and provide relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and make sure there is coherence between your ideas.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
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