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Band 2.5

some people think that employees should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be more strict with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. What is your opinion?

#people #employees #environment #workers #work #employers
Being valued directly affects
quality
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the quality
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 of
workers
 output.
On the other hand
, all of the
employees
 must be monitored to ensure they are doing their responsibility in the best way.
However
, some people believe that being valued is versus being monitored but I reckon differently. But which one is more important in the managing of
employees
? In my view, being valued plays a major role in job-satisfying for
employees
; because of that, administrators and executives and other employers can consider mutual respect as one of the ways that
makes
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make
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workers
 being valued.
Furthermore
,
employees
 should know that not considering
of
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apply
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employees
-rights may be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 their firm; remember that these are
workers
 which made a company.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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of
Change preposition
apply
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being valued, monitoring the
employees
 is an essential part of management
also
.
Nonetheless
, don’t forget that
this
 process shouldn’t be done in a way that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
workers
 uncomfortable but it should be done with enough accuracy and
employees
 must know that the
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 they have embraced is monitoring completely and they will be
Add an article
the response
a response
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response
Replace the word
responsible
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for
Change preposition
to
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 what they have done. In conclusion, I reckon that if we
want
Correct your spelling
won't
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have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 an appropriate relationship with our
employees
, we should make them worth in the way that they feel being valued while we monitor their work respectively. Remember that being valued is not versus being monitored and enough amounts of both are needed.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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