Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #video #games #waste #time #effect #health #players

Generally,

people

are more fashion- conscious these days. The

ever larger

Add a hyphen

ever-larger

show examples

number of beauty salons testifies

this

statement. There are a large number of reasons behind

this

attitude. The

first

culprit is

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

Media

is responsible for

glorifyong

Correct your spelling

glorifying

people

like models and

flim

Correct your spelling

film

stars.

People

are made to believe that everything they put on is necessary to keep

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

up to date. To illustrate,

media

Correct your spelling

show examples

flooded with advertisements

Change preposition

for

show examples

beauty products,

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

, and clothes. Most of these products are aimed at females or children as it is believed that they are more vulnerable to

such

influences.

Media

gave birth to the dictum ' better be out of the world than out of fashion'. The propaganda they promote is that being modern and good-looking is as vital a food and shelter. Yet another reason for

this

trend is the coming up of new professions like hospitality and management. It is a part of these professions to be good-looking and charming to attract

people

. There was a time when

people

gave far less stress on appearance as their life was

labor-intensive

Change the spelling

labour-intensive

show examples

and as

media

had far less influence on them.

However

, the nature of jobs has changed markedly. The modern glamorous professions require

attractive

Correct article usage

an attractive

show examples

personality, which includes linguistic skills and most importantly,

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

physical appearance. In conclusion, it seems that being fashionable is an inescapable inevitability in these modern days and the reason behind

this

change is that to survive in modern society,

people

need it. As they say," while in Rome, do as Romans do".

Submitted by hssb47 on Tue Apr 27 2021

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

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Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Your opinion

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe using modern technology (digital photographs, blogs) is the best way to record and remember important personal events. Others think that the traditional method( making photoalbums, writing diaries) is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.1

Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this?