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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individual’s #amount
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Since fast foods and sugary drinks prevail these days, there is a problem that a lot of people in society have too much
sugar
Use synonyms
. Against
this
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 current situation, some people say that
government
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 have a responsibility to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, others complain that individuals must make effort to it. In the following essay, I would argue both perspectives.
First
Linking Words
 of all, since the ministry
are
Change the verb form
is
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 obligated to spend revenues on healthcare as a part of their job, they might be in charge of the role. As the
government
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 burdens tax on the citizens and acquire their budget, they are responsible to maintain the life of the individuals happy and safe.
The healthcare
Correct article usage
Healthcare
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 is closely related to whether the citizens could spend their life with reassurance;
therefore
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, it would be included in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
response
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 of the ministry.
Second
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 of all,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there is an opinion that the individuals are accountable because they are increasing
sugar
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 intake intentionally. Since a plethora of people who consume
sugar
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 excessively typically know how it is negative to their health, it could be regarded as their problem.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, even though the
government
Use synonyms
 endeavour to solve the matter, the consumers might be addicted to
sugar
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;
thus
Linking Words
, they might not reduce intake. In my conclusion, I believe that the reason that
government
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 are accountable is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 it is included in their job and reason why they exist, and the reason that the consumers have to tackle is that it is their problem and
also
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 cooperation might have less impact.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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