Mony peopre nowodctys do nol feel sofe either when they ore al home or go out. Whol ore lhe reosons ond whol con be done lo solye this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt that an increasing number of

people

Use synonyms

feel unsafe, not only when they go out somewhere, but

also

Linking Words

when they are at home. There are several factors, which

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

lead to

this

Linking Words

increasing fear. ln

this

Linking Words

essay, I will look into the causes of

this

Linking Words

and suggest some solutions. The reasons why

people

Use synonyms

are afraid of going out of their

homes

Use synonyms

are very obvious. The

crimes

Use synonyms

committed on the

streets

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are on a rise. The road mishaps have risen to a proportion, more than ever before and continue to increase

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. Some

people

Use synonyms

are afraid to go out because of the fear of natural calamities and

also

Linking Words

, sometimes due to

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

disorders, which might be caused due to the increase in pollution. The reports of bombings and terror attacks have become everyday news.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

feel afraid of stepping out of their

homes

Use synonyms

. At the same time,

people

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

becoming increasingly scared within their

homes

Use synonyms

. The main reason for

this

Linking Words

is the escalation in the

crimes

Use synonyms

being committed at

homes

Use synonyms

, like murders, robberies, etc. ln a recent news article, it has been surveyed that there have been more

crimes

Use synonyms

committed by domestic help at

people

Use synonyms

homes

Use synonyms

, than the

crimes

Use synonyms

being committed on the

streets

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

has led to

people

Use synonyms

feeling vulnerable, at home and when they are out on the

streets

Use synonyms

. There are certain steps, which can be taken, by the government and individuals, to make

people

Use synonyms

more safe and protected. The increasing unemployment is the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

these

crimes

Use synonyms

. lf the youth of a country are provided vocational training and good job opportunities, they would not fall on the path of crime. Another important measure, which needs to be taken by the

Sovernment

Correct your spelling

Government

, is to employ more

security

Use synonyms

measures, like cameras, more police patrolling, and more

security

Use synonyms

in public transport and public areas.

This

Linking Words

needs to be done in the residential and commercial areas, both

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that it deters the criminals and

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

a sense of

security

Use synonyms

in the public.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Bengaluru,

Sovernment

Correct your spelling

Government

has now made it compulsory for all showrooms and shops to install

security

Use synonyms

cameras. There are

also

Linking Words

random checks made by the government officials to ensure that the

security

Use synonyms

standards are met in all commercial areas- To add to it, stricter punishments for the offenders will act as a major deterrent for the criminals.

This

Linking Words

will greatly reduce the incidents of

crimes

Use synonyms

on the

streets

Use synonyms

and at home. Another important measure is the use of technology in the

security

Use synonyms

systems installed at

homes

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

can install advanced alarm systems and

security

Use synonyms

cameras in their

homes

Use synonyms

, to avoid any unwanted incidents of crime.

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

helps greatly in the reduction of domestic

crimes

Use synonyms

. To sum it up,

people

Use synonyms

's fear and insecurity is justified, with the increasing reports of crime reported by the media.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation can be mitigated by taking some measures, like tackling the unemployment problem,

tiShtened

Correct your spelling

tightened

security

Use synonyms

measures, stricter punishments and the use of advanced technology in households and commercial areas.

nuhaFri Apr 30 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

507 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You are working for a company. You need to make some time off work and want to ask your manager about... Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, explain why you want to take time off work. Give details of the amount of work you need. Suggest how your work could be covered when you are away
Dear Robbie, hope this letter finds you well, a good health, as well as aware that our kid's summer vacation is starting from July 15 to 30. As it's holiday time, we have planned to visit our grandmother in Arkanas from July 20 to 30. So I kindly request you to provide me a leave of 10 days as we are going for our family visit. Well, on behalf of me, my senior team member Ram will be taking care of my job as he is very fond of doing my job. Hopefully, he will consider my application. We are sincerely serious.
5.5
band
Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
Some people say that having a deep look into the family history is important, whereas others argue that focusing on the present and the next generation is the top priority. Although having an idea about what happened in the family past is essential, I support the latter view that paying attention to the present and the future of families is more crutial.
7.5
band
Virtual reality should be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a contentious issue, whether it is necessary to use simulator computers for the medical treatment of human beings. I concur with this usage of technology because it results in fast recoveries and can internally heal the patients. This essay will elucidate these points in the impeding paragraphs.
5.5
band
It is expected that in the future old people are going to outnumber young people in many countries. Do you feel this is a positive or negative development?
In many parts of the world, the ratio of older people to younger people is swelling. This trend, while it may have a few benefits, is felt to be more negative than positive in nature. This will be shown by examining how a large elderly populace strains a society’s public health resources and discourages younger members from having children.
6.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
A number of people believe that music gathers people from other cultures and at diverse ages. From my point of view, it is completely true. I strongly believe that the music is universal. I would like to express my thoughts with relevant examples.

Mony peopre nowodctys do nol feel sofe either when they ore al home or go out. Whol ore lhe reosons ond whol con be done lo solye this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are working for a company. You need to make some time off work and want to ask your manager about... Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, explain why you want to take time off work. Give details of the amount of work you need. Suggest how your work could be covered when you are away

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Virtual reality should be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is expected that in the future old people are going to outnumber young people in many countries. Do you feel this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?