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Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is the government’s responsibility to provide care and finance to support people after they retire. Others, however, think that individuals themselves should save money in their own when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion. > DISCUSS AND OPINION

#people #government’s #responsibility #care #finance #support #individuals #money
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Some
people
 believe that the
government
 should take care of old
people
 and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. It is true that when
people
 advance into their golden years, they require more help and attention. For that reason, a significant number of
people
 hold the opinion that the
government
 should provide financial assistance to the elderly.
However
, I tend to agree with those who argue that workers should be saving a portion of their income to have a nest egg in their retirement.
To begin
 with, a culture of saving rather than depending on the
government
 may foster the overall economic development of a country.
In other words
, if
people
 were to accumulate their own savings for their pension age, it would lessen the financial burden on the
government
.
As a result
, the
government
 would be able to release more funds to more productive purposes,
such
 as
development
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the development
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 of infrastructure, industries, hospitals, and so on, which may expedite the overall progression of a country.
In addition
 to economic factors, putting money aside has some personal benefits. Since savings-oriented
people
 are not dependent on the state for their living expenses,
this
 may
instill
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instil
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 a sense of self-respect and pride in them.
On the other hand
, those who are reliant on financial assistance very often face the negative societal stigma, as many
people
 consider them to be inferior and unworthy members of society.
Hence
, to live a life with dignity and pride, taking responsibility for
funding
Correct your spelling
finding
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 one’s own retirement is evidently a better option from
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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 perspective.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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