Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

These days
computer
games
are very popular
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
all people, in specifics
children
, but
parents
argue that has little educational value and it will be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children
.
Although
I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
with
this
idea, there are a few bad aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
computer
games
that I think
parents
should care about. On the one hand,
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
game is a hobby for
children
and there is no need for a hobby to be educational.
Children
need some time to spend on entertaining themselves.
Computer
games
are one of the most entertaining hobbies today,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
parents
should not be
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
restrictive on playing of their
children
, Beside that there are plenty of educational
games
that tries to teach
children
lesson
Change the noun form
lessons
show examples
such
as math, a foreign language or social etiquette.
Parents
can encourage their
children
play
Add the particle
to play
show examples
these type of
games
more.
On the other hand
,
parents
have to be
concern
Add an article
a concern
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about
children
’s addiction to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
.
Children
get addicted to
computer
games
easily.
Parents
should control how much
children
play video
games
and what
games
they play. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
popular
games
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action
games
in which the
carecters
Correct your spelling
characters
need to fight or kill others,
this
can harm them and may cause mental issues in
children
. Fortunately, game companies specify the age limitation on their products, and
parents
must control them. In Conclusion, It is not necessary that a hobby,
such
as
computer
games
, be educational, but there are some things,
such
as gaming, that
parents
need to be concern about.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: