Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.

Although
it is sometimes argued
parents
should motivate their offspring to take up team
activities
,
other state
Change the wording
another state
other states
show examples
it is of
impotance
Correct your spelling
importance
impotence
that
children
find ways to entertain themselves in their leisure time. Personally,
i
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I
show examples
believe both ideas are equally influential on upbringing because of the reasons which will be explored in
this
essay. On one hand, it is essential to put
children
in
Correct your spelling
simulated
simulatef
Correct article usage
a simulatef
show examples
situation of the future whereby they are required to tackle challenges in life independently. Indeed, giving
children
the right to choose among different options will enhance their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skills
which can help them not only to stand on their own feet but
also
to create a sensible balance
betweem
Correct your spelling
between
work and other aspects of life in the future.
For example
,
thos
Correct your spelling
those
who can decide how to divide their time between the homework they are supposed to do and their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
pastimes themselves are more likely to continue
this
balance to their adultness.
Therefore
, a certain amount of involving
children
in decision making and how to manage their time is advisable.
On the other hand
, I think
parents
often have more experience in life which makes them a valuable source for advice. It means they know if their
children
are involved in group
activities
, their soft
skills
such
as communication
skills
and teamwork will develop. It is obvious
employability
Correct article usage
the employability
show examples
of those who have these
skilss
Correct your spelling
skills
are enhanced in the future.
Thus
, it seems justified to
mr
Correct your spelling
me
Mr
if
parents
are willing to encourage their
children
to take up group
activities
. In conclusion, I think
parents
should motivate
children
to participate in team
activities
,
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apply
show examples
since they are a source of experience and they know
this
idea helps their
children
to improve their soft
skills
.
In addition
, it is essential to give a certain degree of
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
to
children
since they learn to stand on their own feet in futures decision making.
Submitted by mahyarkazerooni on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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