IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

#languages #danger #extinction #people #governments #money #waste
People
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 migrate to other countries in large numbers and most of them get used to a host country
languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
language
show examples
, which leads less use of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
language
. some
people
 adduce that administration should spend some currency for saving some extinct
lannguages
Correct your spelling
languages
 while others accept that it would be a waste of funds .
however
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that , all
languages
 should be protected and preserved. On the one hand, there are a lot of reasons why
people
 think that it is useless to spend
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 funds on saving extinctive
languages
.
Firstly
, there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of other issues that required immediate action from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ,like starvation or mass diseases .
secondly
,
people
 learn to prefer other
languages
 to feel more comfortable in their working environment because sometimes
people
 have to speak with co-workers who
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
language
 and it will be more effective as well as good communication if both of them know each other
languages
 .
on the other hand
 , it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
indespensable
Correct your spelling
indispensable
 to protect
languages
 that are on the verge of extinction. I strongly
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that , a
language
 is not just only the means of communication but it
also
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the culture and tradition. Learning a different
language
 is not a bad idea but accepting it or just forget our own
language
 is an unpleasant move and there will be a decline in cultural diversity. To conclude , as of my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 saving
languages
 leads to the protection of cultural diversity and tradition.
Submitted by kuldeepmalaudh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: