Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

#parents #children #group

Few people think that

Children

should be encouraged to play alone than with their

friends

This

essay will talk about

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

and demerits of allowing

Children

to play games single and with

friends

. On one hand ,by permitting

Children

spending

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

time alone in activities one can get rid of conflicts raising among

children

while playing.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

there won’t be any disturbance to surrounding people;

also

parents may be out of fear of

children

getting hurt by playing with their peers.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

children

are provided with video games

then

they can play happily seating in their comfort zone.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

things would not be broken down by playing alone than in groups.

On the other hand

, the drawbacks of playing individual are social skills are hampered. By encouraging

children

to play in groups

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

will be taught. It

also

makes

children

realize the importance of

friends

in life.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they can share their happy and sad moments with each other. In

this

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

they can encourage one another in their ups and downs. They can get exposed to different levels of knowledge. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

Children

should be encouraged to play with their

friends

instead

of being played alone; the advantages of which are explained in

above

Add an article

the above

show examples

essay.

Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on Thu May 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

210 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. What is your opinion?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s life To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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