Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

#parents #children #group

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Few people think that

Children

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should be encouraged to play alone than with their

friends

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This

Linking Words

essay will talk about

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

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and demerits of allowing

Children

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to play games single and with

friends

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. On one hand ,by permitting

Children

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spending

Change the verb form

spend

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time alone in activities one can get rid of conflicts raising among

children

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while playing.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

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there won’t be any disturbance to surrounding people;

also

Linking Words

parents may be out of fear of

children

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getting hurt by playing with their peers.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

children

Use synonyms

are provided with video games

then

Linking Words

they can play happily seating in their comfort zone.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

things would not be broken down by playing alone than in groups.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the drawbacks of playing individual are social skills are hampered. By encouraging

children

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to play in groups

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

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will be taught. It

also

Linking Words

makes

children

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realize the importance of

friends

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in life.

Linking Words

Moreover

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,Moreover

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they can share their happy and sad moments with each other. In

this

Linking Words

way

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,way

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they can encourage one another in their ups and downs. They can get exposed to different levels of knowledge. In my

opinion

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,opinion

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Children

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should be encouraged to play with their

friends

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instead

Linking Words

of being played alone; the advantages of which are explained in

above

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the above

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essay.

Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on Thu May 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As technology advances, traveling to space is likely to become an option for holidaysmakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country Task :

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned, and electric cars should replace them.