IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Nobody would dispute the fact that shopping is a big part of our life and a
lot
 of
people
 are addicted to it.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping is increasing
repidly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 and
people
 think that
offline
shops
 in cities may be closed in few years.I reckon that
shops
 in towns won't be closed because there will be still a
lot
 of
people
 who will
use
 them.In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides and give
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 opinion on them. On the one hand, I believe that online shopping has a
lot
 of benefits and nowadays humans started to
use
 the internet to purchases more.The main advantage is that you can save a
lot
 of your free time by shopping with help of
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 or phone.
For instance
, I used to shop
offline
 and I was aware that the internet is not safe but once my friend showed me how to buy online which opened me
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
 new world of purchases and started to save a
lot
 of time.As I mentioned before we can see that citizens
use
 more internet
purchuses
Correct your spelling
purchases
 and there is a big percentage that in future the malls and
shops
 will be closed.
On the other hand
, I reckon that
offline
 store will not bankrupt and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
 will still
use
 them.Let's talk about
clothe
Change the form of the verb
clothing
show examples
, so
that is
 much easier to find a T-shirt or jacket that suits you rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 try to guess.
Moreover
, if you want to be sure that products that you buy in
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
show examples
 are fresh and in good condition you better check them yourself. To sum up, I can't say that
shops
 in tows will be closed because citizens will always visit them and there are products that must be bought
offline
.
In addition
, I believe that online shopping will improve in years and it will become more popular and safe.
Submitted by roman.antonyak16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: