IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#businesses #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products
Nowadays, many international corporations have expanded their markets globally and people can easier purchase famous
products
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different countries.
However
, some locals concern that the popularity of these global brands has brought setbacks to domestic businesses. In the following essays, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the potential problems and how to resolve these issues. It is true that multinational organizations have spent
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 amount of budget for promoting their
products
 globally
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 very competitive price.
As a result
, they have gained trust and loyalty from many customers, which has created economic pressures on multiple domestic companies.
Hence
, local brands have to find creative strategies to enhance local consumption or they will be removed from
this
 competitive market.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 may
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 the diversity of they only purchase commodities from well-known companies.
For example
, it is feasible to spot a surge of youngsters wearing similar
products
 from H&M or Zara on the street.
On the other hand
, local authorities should play a key role in boosting the consumption of traditional goods. At
first
, governments can support hand-made businesses through funding packages with low interest, which will help them reduce financial pressure and give room for creativity.
Moreover
, it is feasible to organize outdoor markets where local shops can promote their goods to tourists. Through media, governments can deliver meaningful messages about the benefits of using local
products
 to their citizens. Japan is a typical example as
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 often prioritizes Japanese gadgets which boosts their
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
significantly
Replace the word
significance
show examples
. To sum up, fiercely rivalry with multinational businesses have threatened the
survial
Correct your spelling
survival
 of traditional manufacturers, governments should take appropriate measures to maintain their national identities.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • disrupts
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • monopolistic
  • financial power
  • homogenization
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax incentives
  • sustainability
  • artisan
  • eco-friendly
  • dominate
  • innovation
  • stifle
  • richness
  • cultures
  • traditions
  • highlighting
  • distinguish
  • superior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: