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Band 4.5

Some people think that puplic health is a the responsibility of the government while others think people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #puplic #health #responsibility #government
Everyone desire better
health
 , the majority of
people
 believe that public
healh
Correct your spelling
health
 is an accountability of the
government
 whilst others consider every
people
 accountable for their own
health
 . In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
 , both views are relevant. On the one hand ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be
care
Replace the word
careful
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 many-sided
also
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public
health
. Since
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is consisting of
people
 . If
people
 die more ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
 die.
Therefore
 authority
establish
Change the verb form
establishes
show examples
 some rules in order to maintain public
health
.
As a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 prime example of
this
 could be Covid-19 ,that time the number of countries
inplant
Correct your spelling
implant
in plant
 restrictions and keep a lot of
people
's life while other authorities do not pay attention so much and
inplant
Correct your spelling
implant
 very little limitation .
As a result
 in
this countries
Change the determiner
this country
these countries
show examples
 more
people
 decease.
On the other hand
, everyone's
health
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
firstly
 for themselves . If they want to be a healthy person , they should care
themself
Change preposition
for themself
show examples
 .
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 eating healthy food , every half year
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to the doctor consult and do sport.
However
 they do not want it , not only doctors but
also
 fascinator
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not help
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
. In conclusion , not only authority but
also
people
 responsible
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 own
health
.
However
 the latter more .
Submitted by sarvarovich98 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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