Some people think that puplic health is a the responsibility of the government while others think people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #puplic #health #responsibility #government

Everyone desire better

health

, the majority of

people

believe that public

heatlh

Correct your spelling

health

is an accountability of the government while others consider every

people

accountable for their own

health

. In my opinion , both views are relevant. On the one hand , the government should be careful with

people

many-sided

also

to public

health

. Since

thegovernment

Correct your spelling

the government

is consisting of

people

. If

people

die more , the government

also

die.

Therefore

authority establishes some rules in order to maintain public

health

. A prime example of

this

could be Covid-19 ,that time the number of countries implant restrictions and keep a lot of

people

's lives whilst other authorities did not pay attention so much and implant very little limitation .

As a result

in that

countriy

Correct your spelling

country

Add a comma

show examples

people

died.

On the other hand

, everyone's

health

is necessary

firstly

for themselves . If they want to be a healthy person , they should care for themself .

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

eating healthy food , every half year goes to the doctor consult and do sport.

However

they do not want it , not only doctors but

also

fascinator does not help them. In conclusion , not only authority but

also

people

responsible for their own

health

However

the latter more .

Submitted by sarvarovich98 on Tue May 18 2021

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for instance
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such as
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

208 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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